Posts

What It's Like to Be the Girl Whose Dad Died

When people find out that my dad died, they always act so heart broken. They are quick to apologize for the pain I have gone through. Truth is, most of the time, it's not that hard. My dad past away when I was 4 years old. I have a couple of memories of him, but they are mostly stories I've heard that I force to make memories. Having a dad pass away at such a young age has impacted my life a lot, but not in a way that I notice. I'm sure if he helped raise me, I'd be a different person than I am today. But all I've ever known is one parent. One parent who went through the most painful experience anyone can go through and still raised her children so well. When people say "I'm sorry for your loss." I usually respond with, "It's okay, it's all I've ever known." But once in a while you have a moment in life where you feel him. Where you beg for him to be there with you. Where you melt down to tears because life is brutally unfair ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Life is Hard

I’ve always been a happy person. I always have a smile on my face. A couple months ago I was asked, “What is one word that describes you best?” Without hesitation I said “happy”. Because it was true. Well, It’s not true right now. I’m sad. I’m mad. I’m depressed. Today as I reflect on my life I feel like a complete failure for many reasons. My school life has fallen apart. My work life is nonexistent. My friend life has become minimal. And my family life… that is what has thrown me to the deepest slums. Everybody makes mistakes. I’ve said things that have hurt others and others have said things that have hurt me. But WHY do we have to hold grudges and hate people so much? Aren’t we in this world to help each other? Wouldn’t life be so much more enjoyable if we chose to forgive others and love them instead? I feel like my life has completely fallen apart. I know others have it much worse than me but I just wish I could escape. I know one day the hard times will come to an ...
Post a Comment
Read more

My Side of the Story - Church

I have decided to tell my story. There are two sides to every story, and this is my side. I grew up in the LDS church and always had a strong testimony that the church is true and everything the church teaches is the right thing. But then I grew up. I went out on my own for a couple years and I started having questions. Not necessarily about the churches teachings, but more about the rules and how the church made me feel guilty for every single thing I did. I started dating my husband who is a convert to the LDS religion. He grew up without a religion and was baptized at 19. He would go to church and hear people bare their testimony saying “the church is amazing, my life would be a mess without it and I would be so unhappy” my husband had a fabulous childhood. He’s one of the happiest people I know even without the church. He had questions about the church and would ask me. I could never give him solid answers and I began questioning as well. My doubts built up and I eventually stopp...
1 comment
Read more